“Easy” sometimes does not fit into the day

Today was really tough.  I’ve been doing spectacular.  Some days my body bugg reads 3,700 calories burned!  (That’s when I attend turbo kickboxing AND do p90x).  The least in a day so far was today, which read around 2,700.  My goal as an athlete is to burn 2,800 but I still have a couple hours of meandering before sleep so I should be set on that.

Today, however, was a very, very hard day.

Today was Day 10, Shoulders & Arms/Ab Ripper X.  I got up at about 4 am to go to work, worked 2 flights to Tucson and suffered from a lack-of-adrenaline/endorphins in my system.  I know it sounds odd, but I am infamous for my need for excitement to induce energy.  But the flights were early, terribly light, my crew is calm & collected, and it made me want to face plant into the ground once I got to AZ.

Instead, I took an hour nap and then went for a walk and to Trader Joes.  Still, I felt like a zombie, forcing each step.  It wasn’t even about being tired as much as it felt like running on fumes, no (usual) ‘kick in my step’.

The copious amount of time paired with my lackadaisical funk gave me tremendous anxiety-other than my P90X workout I really didn’t have much else to do.  And then I got famished.  Ate and ate until I didn’t feel starved anymore.  Although my body bugg read 2,700 calories today, I ATE 2,540.  All things considered, although I’m grateful for my deficit it’s not quite on track for what I typically desire and therefore I’m falling short.  It makes it a challenge, but I realize, as should all the other millions out there trying to shape up; tomorrow is a new day and I am NOT off any sort of wagon, whatsoever!!

It takes a lot of reflection to recognize this and not let it be catastrophic.  I forced myself through Ab Ripper X grudgingly, but I FINISHED.  Tomorrow I am hoping to get that “Ashley Juice” back, because that’s exactly what I need to barrel through 90 Days of this program!

P90X Lean Day 5 Finish

To be entirely honest, my fit test results were very sub-par. of course, I’m holding myself to higher standards-as an athlete. So when I recorded my pull-up as .0001 (jokingly…but, no…seriously…) I was very disappointed however optimistic. P90X transforms Non-athletes..so, it has to transform ME…right?

Today I completed the bulk of the week, as far as doing things that are very new to my body goes. Tomorrow I do Kempo X (and considering I do Turbokickboxing sometimes 2-3 hours a day I am not intimidated by this disc) and then I have a rest/Stretch day. I can say a few honest words about what I’ve learned; I did not know working so hard could be so easy! It sounds crazy, but I hit my fatigue point and we switch so fast to a different area that I forget entirely about that pain and that memory gets washed away with the rest of the…WHAT?! 56 minutes?! I’m done? Wow…ow? And in case I truly question my work, my muscles have proved to be sore in places they have NEVER been and I already see improvement!!!

When I would do planks, push ups, and pretty much EVERY yoga pose I would quiver, drop and get fed up FAST. From the moment I took my very first yoga class until last week I would’ve claimed hatred for all things yoga. It’s not personal, it just requires peace, calm-of-mind, patience, stability, flexibility, core strength..all weak points for me. Combine that with ADHD and I couldn’t even get through 20 minutes of a class. I have walked out of many yoga classes out of boredom. Now I can do all of those said things, and more, with confidence! I like doing it because it was such a weak spot. I just needed to work out the kinks, and in 3 workouts p90x did that for me…uh, awesome! Also, I was very sore today. Surprisingly so, and when I finish each workout I feel excited about improving the next time I do it, instead of beating myself up for not getting to the rep goal of the video folks.

WHY P90X works…because you are accountable. I worked a long day, got up very early, and then finished unpacking/organzing and THEN did my Legs & Back AND Ab Ripper DVDs at 1 am. My eyes were burning. I took a 10 minute nap, had some caffeine, and busted it out. AND LIKED IT. It works because you don’t get bored, it appeals to all sorts of learning styles and to the people like me who can’t hold their attention to even type a blog post. ok, goodbye!

P90X LEAN as a Flight Attendant

I will admit a few things…I am scared.  I am intimidated.  I am excited.  I am nervous.  I see these transformations in people and I know it works.  The reviews are in; everyone says P90X kicks ass.  So, it’s time for me to get on board.

Fortunately, by choosing the “Lean” version, (as opposed to Classic or Doubles), there is ony 1 day of 7 that I would require my pull-up bar, which makes it much more feasible to try to make sure that day falls on an off-work day or perhaps I will only have to carry it flying once in a while instead of all the time.  I can use resistance bands if the hotel gym doesn’t have weights, and there are always chairs and mat alternatives.

90 days and I am completely committed.  It all begins tomorrow with Core Synergistics.  If a flight attendant can do it, ANYONE CAN DO IT!!!!

While you were rat racing, I was…

running around downtown Indianapolis and discovered some awesome places to visit!

I am going to make a webiseries about traveling to the cities we go to, because I always go and explore and find things.  What a great opportunity to film first hand where I am, host a show dedicated to the activities, foods, sights and discoveries in various cities that can all be done in a limited amount of time?  (Limited, like within an 14 hour period that INCLUDES rest!)

All I need is a videographer, but even without I’ll just need a tripod and a redbull!

First step; find any willing individuals to help, a better digital video camera, and start researching!

A Pregnant Silence.

It’s always recommended that you find time to yourself.  Moments to reflect, allow thoughts to flow.  People like me hate these moments, however.  For the last few weeks I’ve done nothing but ran from one endorphin-inducing project/adventure to the next.  Constantly accompanied by a great friend, someone who makes me laugh, the attention of a charming man, or my ipod sending motivation signals straight to my brain as I break my next record in speed on the treadmill.  No time to stop, no time to think.  Constant good, constant go.

In fact, I hate any pause in this dance.  Because when it all stops you have to reground, to make adult decisions and use adult judgement to prioritize and take care of things that aren’t endorphin-inducing.  I woke up today for the first time in weeks with little desire to get up.  Originally, my Tuesday plans included flying from Oakland to LAX to watch the American Idol dress rehearsals and then fly to Anchorage to join my cousins for St. Patty’s Day festivities.  Unfortunately, my plans were interrupted by not having anyone to come with me to the American Idol event nor a ride from the airport and all the flights to Alaska are full.  The worst part?  Not necesarily the change in plans, because in all honesty I’m a subject of constant change, I consider my existence to be purely fluid, but that it left a BIG FAT BLANK SPOT in my day.  Like dead air on the radio.  And I hate it.

Fortunately, I recognize that the pit in my stomach is caused by this thinking and since I can recognize it I have the opportunity to overcome it.  The opportunity, anyway.  My friends and family constantly remind me it’s okay to slow down, to breathe, to stop running the marathon I call my life.  But I can’t tolerate the thought that I could miss something, a photo, a memory, but worse…to pass away in a stale moment.

Last month I sprained my ankle horribly.  I could barely so much as stand after the first day, it was torture to lay there, but I did.  One day was one too many though, the doc said I needed crutches and anywhere from 6-8 weeks to heal.  This mean no turbokickboxing.  No treadmill.  NO WORK (aka NO MONEY).  How about NO WAY.  4 days after the sprain I went back to turbokick with a wrap around my black/purple ankle.  6 days after the sprain I went back to work.  Unfortunately, I went to the chiropractor last week and it was ugly even though it’s been over a month.  They did electroshock therapy on it and some numbing solution.  I am now popping 4 ibuprofens to work out everyday.  I know this is the result of not chilling out, but good god, how do people just watch TV and lounge around all day?  It gives me anxiety just thinking of it.

***Written while on a flight from Oakland to Portland, and on the MAX train in Portland…so, always in transit, moving. 

Art is life.

There was a time in my life where I fancied myself quite the artist; I painted portraits for money in high school, sold art pastel work and was a true blue committed thespian.  After graduation I got sucked into the rat race, working for Bank of America and playing house with my long-term boyfriend at the time.  I had the most boring life a person could imagine, I doted on the guy I loved and watched TV with the occasional trip to the gym.

I was not born to live that life!  That lifestyle can be for millions of other people but all that experience did was make me appreciate how much I need diversity, how I am addicted to change and growth!

Nowadays I fly from city to city, have friends countrywide, date guys in and out of state, meet celebrities, my room has paint and paintbrushes laying out 100% of the time, I carve wood into trinkets, I write songs and record them, I act in short films (tomorrow I’m in fact helping with the auditions for them), I take pictures, I edit movies (I just moments ago finished editing a wedding video), I write screenplays, I model (just did a group photoshoot a few days ago), I turbokick like a maniac, and I read more genres of books than most people know exist.  I am living the “idea” of a fulfilling life, and it took determination and drive to get here.  I have to say, I am very proud and bloody fortunate!

Remember…

I received an email from someone I met downtown Austin, just a friendly hello really from someone who found my website (it’s not hard).  Then I saved it into a folder for successes, friendly hellos, and fan mail because occasionally I get these things.  So then I started searching through my mailbox for the substantial things and found this again:

Ashley, Jamie and Cory,

Thank you so much for your interest in Big Ten! The casting is going to be held on Friday at 2pm at the Hotel Sheraton Corporation Sheraton Seattle Hotel, located at 1400 sixth avenue. You’ll be meeting with Annie Gillies and Andria Parides in the hotel lobby. Make sure not to wear white clothing, and bright colors work best! Let me know if you have any questions.

Thanks so much

Lauren

Lauren Waters

MTV & MTV Tr3s Casting

(c) xxx-xxx-xxxx

That was from 2007, when I was one of 3 people selected for casting for that MTV show.  Amazing, and what’s really incredible is the fact that it can’t be denying that I possess something that makes me worthy of this, and it reinstates all faith I have in my talent career.  I didn’t get cast, but I’m okay with that.  I was one of 3, out of thousands of applicants.  Thousands.  I still don’t believe it.