While you were rat racing, I was…

running around downtown Indianapolis and discovered some awesome places to visit!

I am going to make a webiseries about traveling to the cities we go to, because I always go and explore and find things.  What a great opportunity to film first hand where I am, host a show dedicated to the activities, foods, sights and discoveries in various cities that can all be done in a limited amount of time?  (Limited, like within an 14 hour period that INCLUDES rest!)

All I need is a videographer, but even without I’ll just need a tripod and a redbull!

First step; find any willing individuals to help, a better digital video camera, and start researching!

A Pregnant Silence.

It’s always recommended that you find time to yourself.  Moments to reflect, allow thoughts to flow.  People like me hate these moments, however.  For the last few weeks I’ve done nothing but ran from one endorphin-inducing project/adventure to the next.  Constantly accompanied by a great friend, someone who makes me laugh, the attention of a charming man, or my ipod sending motivation signals straight to my brain as I break my next record in speed on the treadmill.  No time to stop, no time to think.  Constant good, constant go.

In fact, I hate any pause in this dance.  Because when it all stops you have to reground, to make adult decisions and use adult judgement to prioritize and take care of things that aren’t endorphin-inducing.  I woke up today for the first time in weeks with little desire to get up.  Originally, my Tuesday plans included flying from Oakland to LAX to watch the American Idol dress rehearsals and then fly to Anchorage to join my cousins for St. Patty’s Day festivities.  Unfortunately, my plans were interrupted by not having anyone to come with me to the American Idol event nor a ride from the airport and all the flights to Alaska are full.  The worst part?  Not necesarily the change in plans, because in all honesty I’m a subject of constant change, I consider my existence to be purely fluid, but that it left a BIG FAT BLANK SPOT in my day.  Like dead air on the radio.  And I hate it.

Fortunately, I recognize that the pit in my stomach is caused by this thinking and since I can recognize it I have the opportunity to overcome it.  The opportunity, anyway.  My friends and family constantly remind me it’s okay to slow down, to breathe, to stop running the marathon I call my life.  But I can’t tolerate the thought that I could miss something, a photo, a memory, but worse…to pass away in a stale moment.

Last month I sprained my ankle horribly.  I could barely so much as stand after the first day, it was torture to lay there, but I did.  One day was one too many though, the doc said I needed crutches and anywhere from 6-8 weeks to heal.  This mean no turbokickboxing.  No treadmill.  NO WORK (aka NO MONEY).  How about NO WAY.  4 days after the sprain I went back to turbokick with a wrap around my black/purple ankle.  6 days after the sprain I went back to work.  Unfortunately, I went to the chiropractor last week and it was ugly even though it’s been over a month.  They did electroshock therapy on it and some numbing solution.  I am now popping 4 ibuprofens to work out everyday.  I know this is the result of not chilling out, but good god, how do people just watch TV and lounge around all day?  It gives me anxiety just thinking of it.

***Written while on a flight from Oakland to Portland, and on the MAX train in Portland…so, always in transit, moving. 

Art is life.

There was a time in my life where I fancied myself quite the artist; I painted portraits for money in high school, sold art pastel work and was a true blue committed thespian.  After graduation I got sucked into the rat race, working for Bank of America and playing house with my long-term boyfriend at the time.  I had the most boring life a person could imagine, I doted on the guy I loved and watched TV with the occasional trip to the gym.

I was not born to live that life!  That lifestyle can be for millions of other people but all that experience did was make me appreciate how much I need diversity, how I am addicted to change and growth!

Nowadays I fly from city to city, have friends countrywide, date guys in and out of state, meet celebrities, my room has paint and paintbrushes laying out 100% of the time, I carve wood into trinkets, I write songs and record them, I act in short films (tomorrow I’m in fact helping with the auditions for them), I take pictures, I edit movies (I just moments ago finished editing a wedding video), I write screenplays, I model (just did a group photoshoot a few days ago), I turbokick like a maniac, and I read more genres of books than most people know exist.  I am living the “idea” of a fulfilling life, and it took determination and drive to get here.  I have to say, I am very proud and bloody fortunate!

Remember…

I received an email from someone I met downtown Austin, just a friendly hello really from someone who found my website (it’s not hard).  Then I saved it into a folder for successes, friendly hellos, and fan mail because occasionally I get these things.  So then I started searching through my mailbox for the substantial things and found this again:

Ashley, Jamie and Cory,

Thank you so much for your interest in Big Ten! The casting is going to be held on Friday at 2pm at the Hotel Sheraton Corporation Sheraton Seattle Hotel, located at 1400 sixth avenue. You’ll be meeting with Annie Gillies and Andria Parides in the hotel lobby. Make sure not to wear white clothing, and bright colors work best! Let me know if you have any questions.

Thanks so much

Lauren

Lauren Waters

MTV & MTV Tr3s Casting

(c) xxx-xxx-xxxx

That was from 2007, when I was one of 3 people selected for casting for that MTV show.  Amazing, and what’s really incredible is the fact that it can’t be denying that I possess something that makes me worthy of this, and it reinstates all faith I have in my talent career.  I didn’t get cast, but I’m okay with that.  I was one of 3, out of thousands of applicants.  Thousands.  I still don’t believe it.